


Dance Along to the Beat of Your Heart

by cantfuckinbelievethis (orphan_account)



Series: One-shots [10]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Matchmaker!Mandy, blind dates, eccentric shenanigans, gun tw, ian and mickey don't know each other, mandy is bitter, matchmaker!karen, or even about each other really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 22:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8640718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cantfuckinbelievethis
Summary: When both Mickey and Ian refuse to meet for a blind date, Mandy and Karen decide to use their crazy matchmaking skills to set them up without their knowledge — through a trail of “crazy coincidences”.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I will get to doing prompts soon, but some rough things have been going on atm, so I just wanted to settle down and write something of my own that I've been looking at doing for ages! 
> 
> Hope you liked it! 
> 
> I'm closed for prompts rn, but here's my Tumblr: cantfuckinbelievethis

**Now**  
  
‘ _Mandy_ ,’ Karen whines, slamming her hands down repeatedly like a child having a tantrum. ‘ _Gimmeeeeee_.’  
  
    ‘Karen!’ Mandy snaps back. ‘Can you not see that I am holding a gun right now? I need to focus, bitch!’  
  
    Karen huffs, sitting up and crossing her arms. ‘You’re taking so fucking long.’  
  
    Without warning, Mandy’s hand comes up and yanks her down until she’s sprawled out again. Karen gasps in shock as she drops. She quickly turns to Mandy and smacks her arm, gesturing out to the street below.  
  
    ‘We are on a _fucking rooftop_. Why the fuck would you _do_ that?’  
  
    ‘If you’re not careful, they’re going to spot us and the entire plan will be blown! They will not forgive us if they find out about this…especially Mickey.’  
  
    Karen nods in agreement. ‘Well, yeah, you are sort of shooting at him.’  
  
    ‘I am a crack shot. It won’t hit him.’ Mandy shrugs before shushing Karen, bouncing in excitement for a moment and then holding the gun steady. ‘They’re here! So you told Ian to go into _that_ shop, right?’  
  
    Karen nods, looking through her binoculars. ‘Yeah, and it seems like he’s about to walk in. Shoot now! _Now_.’  
  
    ‘Shut the fuck up, I really don’t need a backseat shooter when I have a gun pointed near my brother’s head. Besides, _you’re_ the one who fucked up the last plan.’  
  
    ‘Just shoot, Billy The Kid.’  
  
    ‘Well, that was an obscure fucking reference.’  
  
    Karen shoots her another glare and Mandy sighs before levelling the gun again. She squints one eye, heart pounding in her chest before pulling the trigger. Mickey drops to the floor immediately as the bullet hits the wall above his head. Without preamble, he dives behind a car and swears so loudly even Karen and Mandy can hear him.  
  
    Mandy frowns, looking around. ‘What…Where the fuck is Ian? Why isn’t he helping?’  
  
    Karen sighs, dropping her binoculars and rubbing at her eyes. ‘The door shut behind him as the bullet hit. Goddamn it.’  
  
    ‘You should’ve told me earlier!’ Mandy snaps.  
  
    ‘Well, maybe you should’ve—’ Karen stops as Mandy’s phone goes off.  
  
    Mandy sighs, answering her phone. She knows who it is without even checking the contact name. ‘Hey, Mick.’  
  
    ‘I almost just got fuckin’ shot!’  
  
    ‘Oh, again?’ Mandy says, trying her best to sound concerned and not annoyed.  
  
    ‘What kind of fuckin’ Northside neighbourhood is this? I’m not waiting here any longer for you, Mandy; this is bullshit. I’m going home.’  
  
    ‘Okay, Mick. Sorry about that. We’ll catch up another day,’ Mandy says absently, looking through her binoculars as Ian leaves the shop, tampons in hand. ‘ _Motherfucker_!’  
  
    ‘What?’ Mickey snaps, already walking away in the _opposite direction_.  
  
    ‘Just stubbed my toe. Anyway, bye.’ Mandy hangs up, dropping her phone and turning to look at her girlfriend.  
  
    Karen just stares back, eyebrow arched. ‘Should we just give up now?’  
  
    Mandy sighs in defeat and nods. ‘Fine. I’m out of ideas anyway.’

* * *

 **2 Weeks Earlier**  
  
Karen and Mandy lounged around on their bed after their usual fuck fest. Mandy was practically panting with the exertion and sweat was pooling in the dips of Karen’s bare chest. They were silently enjoying the afterglow when Karen’s phone rang shrilly.  
  
    Jumping, Mandy scowled at her girlfriend. ‘Your fucking phone, I swear to God.’  
  
    ‘It’s a cheap piece of shit that I can’t even change the ringtone on, Mands, what do you expect?’ Karen huffed as she disengaged from Mandy’s arms and reached for the phone on her beside table. She grumbled to herself as she saw who it was. ‘Jesus Christ.’  
  
    ‘What?’ Mandy asked, snuggling deeper into her pillow.  
  
    Karen smiled softly at how adorable her girlfriend looked before she answered, ‘It’s Ian. _Again_.’  
  
    Mandy squinted an eye open to look at Karen to see if she was joking, but she clearly wasn’t. ‘That’s like…fifteen times today.’  
  
    ‘I think he’s just lonely. His boyfriend _just_ broke up with him…He really needs some support right now.’ Karen ignored the call, putting her phone back down and settling into her girlfriend’s side again. ‘He has a whole fucking family to call, though. I need my afterglow; he can fuck off with his heartbreak.’  
  
    Mandy snickered. ‘You’re such a good friend.’  
  
    Karen was about to answer when Mandy’s phone went off, but with a much softer ringtone.  
  
    Mandy sighed, reaching for her phone. As soon as she looked at it, she said, ‘Ian.’ She also ignored the call and flopped back on the bed.  
  
    Karen scoffed. ‘You’re a shit friend too.’  
  
    ‘No, I just hear enough about boy troubles with my fucking brother,’ Mandy said, ‘I swear to God, it’s like they both have guy troubles at the same time, all the time. I’ve got it coming from all sides.’  
  
    ‘Well, it’s not like Mickey’s calling about it day and night.’  
  
    ‘No, it’s worse. He just turns into a passive aggressive little bitch.’ Mandy rolled her eyes. ‘He just acts even moodier than usual and when you try and ask him what’s wrong, he tells you to fuck off. At least Ian says it out loud.’  
  
    ‘Apparently he doesn’t do it with anyone but us. Lip once told me that he doesn’t ever know shit about his brother’s problems until they come to a head.’  
  
    ‘Huh…weird.’ Mandy shrugged. ‘Whatever, I just wish we could make them both realise that they could find great guys if they _actually_ tried. I mean, they’re both…decent people, Ian’s hot, and I…assume Mickey’s attractive to people who aren’t his sister.’  
  
    Karen just nodded in agreement, a sly smile stretching across her face. ‘You know…we haven’t fucked with people’s lives lately…’  
  
    Mandy frowned, sitting up slightly to get a better look at her girlfriend. ‘Huh?’  
  
    Karen huffed. ‘Why don’t we try and set them up?’  
  
    Mandy’s eyes widened and she breathed out, ‘Oh my God, yes. This is perfect!’  


* * *

  
Mandy sat across from Ian at their usual diner. Usually Mandy went out to coffee with her friends, but Ian worked at a coffee shop, so he couldn’t stand the smell of coffee beans anymore. Their usual waitress came over, handing them their usual meals, and eyed Ian in apparent concern. Mandy couldn’t blame this pretty-much stranger for her worry, because, man, did Ian look like shit.  
  
    ‘So…you look like crap,’ Mandy stated.  
  
    Ian rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his coke. ‘Yeah, thanks, Mands.’  
  
    Mandy shrugged. ‘Just telling the truth. I can’t believe you’re letting that dickbag get to you like this.’  
  
    Ian huffed, shovelling fries into his mouth and ignoring Mandy’s judgemental stare. He knew he had issues with letting things affect him too much, but he couldn’t help it. Why couldn’t he be upset at a relationship ending? He said as much, and ignored Mandy’s resulting eye roll.  
  
    ‘It was a month, and you didn’t really seem all that into him to me…Also he was, like, a hundred years old,’ Mandy said.  
  
    ‘He was fucking thirty!’ Ian snapped.  
  
    ‘And you’re twenty-one! Fucking gross, if you ask me. The highest age you should date should be, like, twenty-five.’ Mandy wasn’t quite sure how to go from there, but tried her best attempt at being casual. ‘Speaking of age-appropriate gay men, have I told you about my brother?’  
  
    Ian looked up from his fries with a frown. ‘Are you really trying to set me up with your brother fresh off my break up?’  
  
    Mandy shrugged nonchalantly, squishing her own gravy-soaked fries under her fork. ‘Just think it might help.’  
  
    Ian shook his head determinedly. ‘No fucking way. I don’t do blind dates, and I’m done with men, anyway!’  
  
    Mandy grinned playfully. ‘Oh, Ian! I feel the same way; I’m totally up for dumping Karen for your ginger ass.’  
  
    Ian looked as if he was physically suffering as he rolled his eyes. ‘Not like that.’  
  
    Mandy decided the conversation had strayed too much already and re-routed it back to the main issue, here. ‘So you absolutely won’t go on a date with my brother?’  
  
    ‘No, Mands. I’m just not ready.’  
  
    Mandy sighed dejectedly, wondering how much luck Karen was having with her brother at this very moment.

* * *

‘You wanna go on a blind date with my friend?’ Karen asked as she slammed the buttons of her controller.  
  
    Mickey burped as he overtook Karen in Mario Kart. ‘Nope.’  
  
    ‘’Kay.’

* * *

‘I can’t fucking believe Ian said no!’ Karen complained as they made dinner that night.  
  
    ‘I fucking know!’ Mandy snapped, mashing potato roughly. ‘That’s the last fucking time we try and help those dickheads. I mean, Mickey didn’t say yes, which I predicted.’  
  
    ‘I tried so hard to convince him, too,’ Karen sighed, sincerely disappointed with the outcome of their efforts.  
  
    Mandy slammed the masher down on the bench, growling in annoyance. ‘No. _Nope_. This is not the end. Those fuckers are perfect for each other and they will date, even if we have to trick them into it.’  


* * *

Their first attempts at playing deranged cupids was just simple things, like suggesting Ian go running past the bus stop that Mickey walks past in the morning, because “there’s a really nice lake around there”, or trying to get Mickey to get his coffee at the shop where Ian works as a barista.  
  
    One morning, their efforts slightly paid off. They waited in the coffee shop, just like the last three mornings, and Mickey entered. He made his way up to the line, and Mandy and Karen were practically vibrating with excitement.  
  
    ‘I can’t believe it,’ Karen whispered.  
  
    ‘We’re going to witness them falling in love,’ Mandy laughed. ‘It’s like some dopey love movie.’  
  
    ‘Or a fanfic of a coffee shop AU,’ Karen murmured.  
  
    Mandy’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘What?’  
  
    ‘What?’ Karen repeated, arching her eyebrows questioningly.  
  
    Mandy just shook her head and returned her attention back to where Mickey was approaching the counter, slowly but surely. He was one person behind to order his coffee. Karen and Mandy held their breaths as Mickey stepped up to the counter. They both frowned as Ian said something apologetically, calling someone from the back and taking off his apron, stepping away as he was replaced by some other barista.  
  
    ‘Are you _fucking_ kidding me?!’ Karen shrieked.  
  
    Some people, including Mickey and Ian, turned towards them, so they immediately ducked behind their shared newspaper. When enough time had passed for everyone’s attention to be off them, they removed the outer sheet of the paper, allowing themselves to see through the holes they’d cut through the rest of the layers. Mickey was typing on his phone while he waited obliviously for his coffee, Ian nowhere to be seen.  
  
    ‘Mother _fucker_ ,’ Mandy snapped. ‘We definitely need to up our game.’

* * *

The next few attempts were a line-up of “crazy coincidences”.  
  
    For one coincidence, they kept addressing stuff to Mickey, but instead, leaving it in Ian’s mailbox. They would then stalk Ian as he went to return Mickey’s things. The first few times, he returned it to Mickey’s building, but then eventually, he returned it to the man himself. All Mickey had done, in usual Mickey fashion, was grunt a thanks and then shut the door. He also then started messaging Mandy and asking her to stop fucking sending him shit.  
  
    The next coincidence was getting a mutual Mickey friend to drag him to the bar where Ian sometimes played his guitar for fun. Mickey did notice it was the guy with the mail, and they did speak for a few moments after Ian was done with his set, but they split off to their respective friends after two minutes. The friend said the conversation was nice, but not really flirty. Mandy and Karen couldn’t hear anything from where they were hidden in the back.  
  
    The final coincidence was paying a waitress friend of theirs to seat Ian and Mickey in the same booth at the diner, because the place was otherwise full. It was a pretty small diner, so they made sure to fill out the other booths with their friends and usual customers. Mickey had gotten there first, and had already gotten his pancakes by the time Ian turned up and was put with him. So they knew it wouldn’t last long. It had been a huge feat, though, and somewhat worth it because as they sat behind them, facing the opposite direction, they got to hear their first proper conversation.  
  
    ‘So…this is fuckin’ weird,’ Mickey grunted, sounding like he was taking a bite of his pancakes. ‘Can’t believe it’s so full in here.’  
  
    ‘Yeah, usually it’s pretty empty in here…especially on a Tuesday afternoon,’ Ian responded before laughing. ‘I’m just amazed at how often we’ve run into each other lately. I mean…it’s actually fucking crazy.’  
  
    ‘Yeah, man, I feel like I should be somehow putting money on whether we’ll run into each other again. Could make a fuckin’ fortune.’  
  
    Mandy and Karen exchanged grins, before listening in again as Ian laughed in response, tapping his fingers against the table.  
  
    ‘So…seeing as we keep running into each other…and also to avoid awkward silence, can I ask what you do?’  
  
    ‘I’m the manager at a diner like this one,’ Mickey replied. ‘It’s further up North, though. It’s like a dumbass hipster place. We even serve our coffee in fuckin’ mason jars, man.’ He chuckled. ‘It’s ridiculous.’  
  
    ‘He likes him,’ Karen hissed in excitement.  
  
    They both knew that Mickey wouldn’t bother trying to get to know someone unless he wanted to be friends with them or bang them. He wasn’t really a people person, so he didn’t give a shit about awkward silences. His long answer was a good sign.  
  
    Ian chuckled. ‘Yeah, well, I work at a coffee shop, but also a hipster bookstore.’  
  
    ‘A hipster bookstore? How the fuck do you make a bookstore hipster?’  
  
    ‘It’s more about the look of the place. There’s all this exposed brick and black metal, and they actually allow the customers to climb up these ladders to get to the top of the shelves. There’s Bukowski quotes everywhere…I don’t know, man, you have to see it to get it.’  
  
    ‘The whole ladder thing sounds like a liability issue, to be honest.’  
  
    ‘Oh, it is. One guy fell from the ladder and broke his tailbone, but he didn’t even sue. He took a photo and tagged us on Instagram…Somehow we got _more_ customers?’  
  
    Mickey let out a loud laugh. ‘Holy shit, that’s great.’  
  
    Before the conversation could continue, Mickey’s phone went off. Mandy and Karen exchanged a look of disappointment, knowing this was most likely his work that always dragged him off in the middle of things.  
  
    ‘Sorry, man,’ Mickey apologised, probably having had checked his phone. ‘Work just texted and a fuckin’ stove has busted. I gotta get going, but it was nice to see you…again.’  
  
    ‘You two, man. I’ll see you at the next random coincidence.’  
  
    Mickey then raced out the door and Mandy and Karen sighed, deciding to leave too.

* * *

 **1 Week Earlier**  
  
So far Ian had said nothing about Mickey to Mandy or Karen, which was a bad sign. It meant that he didn’t care enough about Mickey to talk about him, which he did with most of his crushes. Neither girl could believe that he wasn’t interested. Ian was interested in most guys he came across, so what was his problem with Mickey?  
  
    They decided that maybe Mickey wasn’t feeding Ian’s hero complex enough. Mickey was too prideful and independent to be the perfect damsel in distress Ian seemed to crave. They had to make Ian save Mickey to realise he loved him and wanted to be with him forever.  
  
    They started out small, with Karen dragging Mickey to the same grocery store Ian did his shopping at. Mandy decided to stay home, not really chancing them getting caught since it was more likely Ian could catch both of them than Karen alone. The plan was to get Mickey really needing an item and he didn’t know where it was. Somehow, Karen would find Ian and lead Mickey to that aisle and then abandon him, hoping that he saw Ian and decided to ask him how to find what he needed.  
  
    ‘Why are we at this one?’ Mickey sighed. ‘The one near mine is perfectly okay, you know.’  
  
    ‘This one has better…uh, condoms!’ Karen said, holding up the first thing she saw. ‘I know a little something about condoms, Mick, and this place has some good ones.’  
  
    Mickey frowned at the packet she held in her hand. ‘They’re the same as the ones I have at home…That I got from my own fuckin’ grocery store.’  
  
    Karen blinked, unsure of how to respond. Panicking when she saw Ian at the end of the aisle, she shoved Mickey and his trolley into a display pile of canned soup before making a run for it. From the end of the aisle, she could hear Mickey yelling after her and glanced back to see Ian approaching Mickey, who was flailing in a pile of cans. Karen winced before deciding to just ditch the entire store and go home. She really didn’t want to deal with Mickey’s response. Yeah, she may have fucked that one up.  
  
    When she got home, Mandy sighed and decided they would cool it off for a bit before trying one last time, with a plan of Mandy’s own involving a gun and a rooftop.  


* * *

**Now**  
  
Now that they had no more plans, they decided to just give up trying to sneakily get them together and beg Ian one last time. They were all chilling in Mandy and Karen’s lounge room when they attempted one last time.  
  
    ‘I swear to God you’ll like my brother,’ Mandy sighed.  
  
    ‘For the last time, Mands, no!’ Ian rolled his eyes. He seemed to hesitate for a second before blurting out, ‘Besides…I’m kind of already…seeing someone.’  
  
    ‘ _What_?!’ Mandy and Karen blew up simultaneously.  
  
    ‘What the fuck happened to “no more men”?’ Mandy snapped. ‘We’ve been trying to get you with my brother for _so long_ , and you fucking date someone else?’  
  
    Ian frowned. ‘You’ve asked me to go out with him…twice? What do you mean _so long_?’  
  
    Mandy huffed, trying to cover her mistake. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I meant you’re so insufferable that it _feels_ like so long.’  
  
    Ian rolled his eyes. ‘Mands, you can’t be mad at me for dating someone. I’m really happy with him, okay? He’s nice and funny and really, really hot.’  
  
    Karen grinned and leant forward. ‘Really?’  
  
    Mandy threw her hands up in frustration. ‘Are you _fucking_ kidding me, Karen? We’re meant to be annoyed here.’ Mandy crossed her arms, facing Ian again. ‘Fine, then, we’ve got to meet this mystery Adonis.’  
  
    Ian rolled his eyes yet again. ‘Fine. We’ll double-date on Friday night.’  


* * *

‘I can’t believe this,’ Mandy huffed as she fixed her make-up. ‘I can’t _fuckin’_ believe this. After all of our hard work, Ian goes out and dates the first lemming he can find.’  
  
    Karen sighed, pulling into a parking spot outside the restaurant. ‘We have to just deal with it and be happy for him. Maybe we could find someone else for Mickey.’  
  
    Mandy pouted, but followed Karen out of the car and promised herself she wouldn’t be too resentful toward Ian’s new beau. As they entered the restaurant, though, they saw Ian sitting alone. They made a beeline towards him, sliding into the opposite side of the booth.  
  
    ‘Your boyfriend ditch or something?’ Mandy asked, already completely breaking her promise.  
  
    Ian huffed. ‘No, Mands, he just went to the bathroom. He’ll be back in a second.’  
  
    ‘Can we at least know this joker’s name?’ Mandy scowled. ‘So I can come up with a funny nickname to mock him with for the rest of the night?’  
  
    Ian sighed, before saying, ‘His name is—’  
  
    ‘ _Mickey_?’ Karen cried out in shock, watching as the man himself approached them.  
  
    Mickey blinked in surprise, eyes flickering between Mandy and Karen. ‘What the fuck are you two doin’ here?’  
  
    ‘ _This_ is your boyfriend?’ Mandy cackled.  
  
    Ian nodded, frowning. ‘Yeah…what’s going on here?’  
  
    ‘This is my brother,’ Mandy said and Ian’s eyes widened. Mandy turned to Mickey. ‘ _This_ is Karen’s and my friend that she wanted to set you up with.’  
  
    ‘Holy shit,’ Mickey snorted, sitting down.  
  
    ‘Well, you were right, I guess, I did like him,’ Ian laughed, wrapping an arm around Mickey’s shoulders.  
  
    ‘How the fuck did you guys meet?’ Karen frowned, wondering when they decided to date. ‘Well, more like, when did you guys decide to go out?’  
  
    ‘Well, we met when that shit you guys were sending me kept turning up at his place, and then we just kept running into each other,’ Mickey told them. ‘And you remember a while ago when I told you about how I was put in a booth with a stranger at a diner?’  
  
    Mandy and Karen exchanged awkward looks before responding, ‘Yes,’ in unison.  
  
    ‘That stranger wasn’t really a stranger, I guess. It was Ian,’ Mickey explained. ‘And a few days after that, we ran into each other again. It was at the cinema when I wanted to go see that action flick neither of you wanted to see, so I had to see it by my fucking self. Ian was there by himself too so we ended up sitting together, and by the end, this fuckin’ sap asked me out.’  
  
    ‘What?’ Mandy cried out in annoyance.  
  
    ‘So when we went to the grocery store, and I pushed you into those cans, you guys were already dating?’ Karen snapped.  
  
    Mickey frowned, glancing between the two women and his boyfriend, who was just as confused as himself. ‘…Yeah?’  
  
    Mandy and Karen then proceeded to burst into laughter, ignoring the boys’ confused looks. It turned out the one time they hadn’t set them up, they had found each other anyway. Soon their laughter died down and they waved off Mickey and Ian’s attempts to get an explanation, instead moving the conversation onto something else. Ian and Mickey were a couple now, and so Karen and Mandy figured they should get to know them as such.  
  
    And seeing the way they looked at each other, even when just talking about stupid shit, they decided that all of their shenanigans were totally worth it.


End file.
